Why do people assume we're miserable?

Okay, I am sure by now you have figured out on your own that I am not a shy person. This lack of shyness comes from inner confidence - despite my size. With that said, I'd like to explain several things:

1. I am not alone in feeling that being overweight is anything to be ashamed of or feel that I am any less worthy of a person because of it.
   
2. Skinny people are miserable too!
   
3. Being heavy is not the be-all and end-all of my existence.

I have mentioned this website to very few friends of mine and there is a good reason behind it. I refuse to be defined by how much I weigh and I am very proud of the fact I am not viewed as their "fat friend Jessica". When I did tell a couple of people who know me very well, they were extremely surprised. The general response was that they viewed me as being very comfortable in my body, sometimes even more so then they are in their size 6 & 8 bodies. So naturally, it would seem strange to them that I would devote a site to the issues of being a plus-size woman. Their reasoning for this surprise was that they didn't think I suffered the same kind of prejudices and arrogance because of my attitude. Essentially, they pinpointed the fact I am trying to get across, which is that people treat you how you act and considering that I don't act like a miserable, depressed fat woman (as we are all portayed in those diet program commercials), I am not treated that way. Simple enough, eh?



So, why I am doing this then, you ask? Well, for one, because of the stupid, demeaning, and unrealistic diet commercials you see on TV every day. Everyone starts off with "I was FAT and I was MISERABLE", or something to that effect. Then I think to myself, well, I am fat and quite happy! I have no desire to starve myself, especially to obtain some imaginary happiness. Your body only affects your attitude if you let it! One of my favorite sayings is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt). This is one of the obvious themes in this site, but I really can't stress it enough.



So back to those bleeding commercials... Its amazing how easily giving any credence to these ploys for money, can be detrimental to your ego. Losing weight for health reasons is one thing and should be taken seriously, but I don't understand killing yourself for purely cosmetic gratification. You are still going to be the same person, so unless you change your ATTITUDE, not your size, you won't be any happier. I have been both and can honestly say this from experience. My life is just as rich and fulfilling as before because I have learned to accept myself the way I am.



What's completely ironic, is that since this revelation, I have not gained a pound! Whereas before I used to diet, lose a bunch of weight, and then gain it all back with an extra 20% for good measure. How was this helping? I know you've all heard it before but 95% of people gain back the weight they lose and then some. So now that I have stopped dieting, my body has relaxed and I have actually lost about 20lbs because my metabolism is going haywire anymore.



The moral of this story is, when you place all this emphasis on losing weight, and attribute any good feelings to the loss of that weight, you are completely setting yourself up for disaster. Being miserable is something you do to yourself, not what your weight does to you. And there are loads of people besides myself who feel this way - so don't listen to those diet commercials. They are only after one thing and that's what's in your wallet. Try and be more concerned with what's in your head (and remember its okay to be happy with your body just the way you are!)

Article by Maya Angelou

Size Discrimination

Have you been turned down for a job or promotion because of your size? Here is a great article suggesting some recourse:

http://www.bbwmagazine.com/work_3_0018.htm

How can I make traveling on an airplane more comfortable?

Updated June 2007

The three main things that affect the comfort of big people who are flying are seatbelt extenders, seat space and restroom facilities.
SEATBELT EXTENDERS
If the seatbelt on an airplane doesn't fit you, you need to use a seatbelt extender. All airplanes carry them -- flight attendants use them to demonstrate how to fasten your seatbelt. Airlines win points for being discreet and polite with seatbelt extenders. If you get a pre-assigned seat, you may be able to ask the airline or your travel agent to put an extender on the belt for that seat in advance. Otherwise, you can ask the flight attendant for one.
If you prefer to bring your own extender, LivingXL and Amplestuff each sell various styles of seatbelt extenders that work with most airplane seatbelts. The ones they sell are somewhat longer than the ones passed out on planes.
SEAT SPACE
Airlines win points for being polite and helpful about trying to save an empty seat beside a big person, and for telling folks where the roomiest seats are and trying to seat them there.
Seat size varies from plane to plane (even within the same airline and model). New planes are likely to have similar-sized seats. But if an airline uses older planes or a variety of models, there's no predicting what size the seats will be. The airline service reps can tell you the type of plane that you will be flying on. Propellor and turbo-prop planes tend to have narrower seats than jets.
Editor's Note: Check out SeatGuru for seat measurements on airline body types of all major airlines.
Bulkhead or door seats do not have a row of seats in front of them, so you get more leg room, and no one will lower their chair into your face. However, the tray tables fold out of the arm rests and you can't raise the arm rests.
On a small plane with no physical divider between first class and coach, the seats directly behind the first class seats tend to have the same pluses and minuses as bulkhead seats.
On a larger plane, such as a 767 or 777, the seats tend to be about an inch wider and there may be as much as two extra inches of legroom.
On all sizes of planes, exit row seats sometimes have more leg room. First class or business class seats tend to be wider with more leg room, but the arm rests usually can't be raised.
If you prefer first or business class, you may want to ask about the possibility of an upgrade. Some airlines will let you upgrade for a small charge, some will upgrade you for no extra charge; some will let you upgrade if economy class is full. Frequent travelers report that it's easier to get an upgrade if you wear business clothing.
To get a few extra inches of space, board as soon as possible, and when you sit down, immediately lift the arm rest. If someone sits next to you, they generally won't bother to put the arm rest back down, and you'll both have more room.
To increase your chance of having an empty seat next to you, try the following:
• Travel on middle of the week flights and red-eye (late night) flights, which are rarely full.
• Ask to be seated in an aisle or window seat toward the back of the plane (they fill the plane from front to back). However, note that the seats in the last row usually don't recline.
• If you are traveling with someone, ask for a window and an aisle in the same row. If someone ends up in the middle, they will probably be happy to switch with one of you.
• Tell the airline when you make your reservation that you're a large person and ask to be seated next to an empty seat. (One person says, "I'm a large person, and while one seat is plenty, I know I'd be more comfortable, and so would the person you place next to me, if I could be placed next to an empty seat instead.")
• Check in early (usually the gate check-in opens an hour before the flight) and ask to be seated next to an empty seat. You don't need to explain why you want one. People of all sizes want to move their seats and asking to be seated next to an empty seat is a common request.
• Ask if you can buy an empty seat or upgrade.
If you are very large, some airlines require you to buy two seats. Call ahead so they don't surprise you at the gate. Some airlines will sell you the second seat for half price. Others will only make you buy the second seat if the flight is full.
If you think you may have trouble negotiating the aisles, get on when pre-boarding is announced. On many planes, you can fold down a seat by pushing on the back, which can provide extra room for settling yourself in your chair.
Airplane tray tables get in the way of the stomachs of some fat people. Try these solutions:
• If you're seated next to an empty seat, use that seat's table.
• Tilt your seat all the way back.
• Balance the tray on a pillow on your lap.
• Bring your own food and avoid using the tray table.
• Ask the person seated beside you if you can put your drink on their table.
RESTROOM FACILITIES
Airplane restrooms are very small and often uncomfortable for some larger bodies. Depending on where you carry your weight, some restrooms may be impossible for you to use. Consider these two tips:
• When reserving your seats, request a seat near the disabled-access restroom. These restrooms tend to be a little larger and provide a little more entry and exit room for larger bodies.
• Try to avoid having to use the restroom altogether, using the airport restroom immediately before and after your flight.

Original copyright held by Stef Jones (stef@bayarea.net). Article updated by grandstyle.com. Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this article in its entirety for non-commercial, educational use only, provided that this copyright notice is not removed or altered. No portion of this work may be sold, either by itself or as part of a larger work, without the express written permission of the author. This restriction covers all publication media, including electronic media.

Plus Size Dating - So, Are We All Big Beautiful Women?

Just what is plus size anyway? According to the fashion industry, plus sizes start at size 14 in the US, and size 16-18 in the UK.
But statistics tell us that the average woman in the US is a size 14 or bigger. So if a size 14 is the norm, why are we being shunted into a "special" plus size category?
We're normal but the fashion designers don't seem to have clued in.
Who decides these things anyway? Is there a secret annual conference of magazine editors, fashion gurus, and department store buyers where they all get blitzed on appletinis (no food passes their lips, of course) and decide that the rest of the world is just too porky to fit into a regular size?
Righteous indignation aside, this arbitrary labelling makes the pursuit of online romance more complicated than it needs to be. Dating site owners are narrowing their marketing focus in an effort to attract customers. The dating business is intensely competitive, so it's in their interest to slot us into targeted niches, wherever they can.
If you're an animal lover, there's a dating site for you. If you're a self-confessed nerd, there's an online venue where you can meet other nerds (or people who love nerds). There's even a site where millionaires can meet and fall in love.
And if you're a larger sized woman or man, you've got plus size personals, a dating niche that's been invented especially for you.
Plus size dating sites aim to attract BBW (big beautiful women) and BHM (big handsome men) and their admirers. This is, on the surface, a good idea. If you're not a stick-thin super model, you can join these sites and be assured that the people you meet will appreciate a figure that's more Rubens than Twiggy.
But what makes these plus size dating sites interesting, from a sociological (or purely nosy) perspective, is the presence of people who don't obviously belong in the BBW category. After looking through the profiles on half-a-dozen plus size personals sites, it soon became clear that the clientele on each site ranged from the very slightly plump (ie. the average) to really large SSBBW (super sized big beautiful women).
Perhaps this is a comment on modern society, that such a wide spectrum of people self-select into the plus size category. Maybe we're so brainwashed by skinny models in fashion magazines, and air-brushed, bone-thin Hollywood actors, that we think "well, I don't look like them, so I must be bigger than most people."
Maybe it's about time we, "most people", the size 14 + majority, rebel and start insisting that clothing retailers get rid of the plus size category and just stick us all under "normal", whether we're a size 2 or a size 22.
And when it comes to selecting a body type on dating sites, whether they're plus size dating sites, or not, we should all start selecting "Average".
Because that's what we most of us are.


Air Travel Article for the "bigger" consumer